Acting, Weight Loss & Body Image

23 Mar

Ok, I promised you all that I would be better at blogging this year, sooooo…here’s a second blog (I know, I know, I should really blog more frequently, but this is still an improvement from last year where I blogged ONCE!).

For those of you who have known me for a while, you know that weight has been a struggle for me my entire life. I was a chubby kid who became an obese adult, and one day I decided to just DO SOMETHING about it and start working out, eat less and just lose the freakin’ weight.

Image

Running off the pounds. A never-ending quest for the finish line.

I lost 100lbs at most when I got myself down to my lowest weight. As a woman, as well as being someone prone to weight gain, I go up and down the scale. One week I might be 10lbs up, and then the next week I’m 10lbs down again. Sometimes even up or down 15lbs if my body and eating habits get drastic. Or at my most extreme, I’ve been able to gain and lose 30-40 lbs in a short amount of time. This is called “Yo-yo-ing” and I highly DO NOT recommend it!

Being in the entertainment industry and being a full-time actor now, weight is something that’s on your mind about 99.9999999% of the time. Everyone’s either scared of gaining weight for fear of losing work, or LOSING weight if you’re a plus-sized model who makes their money from being curvier. Ironically, I was on-hold for a huge national print campaign with a famous photographer and I actually made myself GAIN a little bit of weight to make the weight requirements! Unfortunately, I was released from the hold, and still stuck with the weight that I gained. Granted, it really wasn’t a lot, and I’ve NEVER actually stayed at this lower weight for an extended amount of time in my life EVER, so I really shouldn’t be complaining. However, in an industry where you’re either smaller or bigger, it’s quite difficult to be in “no man’s land” as I like to call it.

I’m not saying that being a size 6 or 8 (which is what I wear now, which is NOT the size 20 that I had once worn) is at all “obese” or even overweight. However, in this industry, it’s is TOUGH to feel like you’re thin when all the actresses in Hollywood are size 0s. Even Jordin Sparks, who was a big spokesperson for body acceptance when she was bigger, has now distanced herself completely from promoting that and is now a size 2! Raven Symone has also lost a significant amount of weight, and though she gets annoyed at people for all the back-handed compliments (something that I had to face a lot when I had lost the weight as well), you know damn well that she loves rockin’ those hot pants!

Image

OH SNAP! If I had Raven’s legs, I would TOTALLY rock those as well!

I’m a true New Yorker, and I’m an actor, and a classically-trained musician and singer, which means that I’m all kinds of neurotic. When I read about Jordin Sparks and Raven, I seriously lost sleep over it, because I wanted to get down to that size. I’m a pretty happy person, but no one is ever truly 100% happy, and in regards to weight, I always feel like there’s more to lose. I find myself staring at myself in the mirror in the morning, picking apart at every flaw, every area that needs more work, envisioning the person that I want to look like.

Image

Don’t lie and say that you don’t do this too!

I’m not anorexic and not bulimic in any way, shape or form. I love food, and the idea of puking my brains out doesn’t sound appealing to me at all. Though I heard that  bulimia apparently gives you AWESOME abs! (Ok, I’m kidding. But hey, Katherine McPhee was bulimic in the past! Fine, bulimia is BAD!)

I love working out, and I love being strong. People are always amazed at the way that I run on the treadmill at the gym (though I would love to get faster), because I’m constantly pushing myself. I’m EXTREMELY fit in terms of fitness. One thing that I am, and that I will ALWAYS be is a term that the amazing Marina Kamen had coined and that’s a “food-a-holic”. I LOVE FOOD! Ok, that’s an understatement. I adore it, live for it, crave it, yearn it, lust for it, etc. I swear, I salivate at pictures of good, delicious, tasty, yummy FOOD. When I see people post of pictures of incredible food stuffs on Facebook, I WANT IT! And BAAAAAAAAD!!! That’s better than any kind of adult-material for me. Seriously. Food is AMAZING. Fortunately, I don’t dig junk food at all (tossed that habit over a decade ago when I first started losing weight). But I definitely am a foodie, and will always be a “fat girl”, no matter what.

Image

You have no idea how turned on I get by this photo! All that yumminess is glistening! GLISTENING!!! OH.MY.GAWD!!!

So why am I blogging about this? Well, I know that me and my friends have had discussions about the topic of weight, and it’s ALWAYS relevant. As women, we will probably never truly be happy with ourselves in terms of weight. I had a conversation with a good friend last week about it, and even when we were at our thinnest, we still felt like we needed to lose more weight. Then looking back at old pictures, to steal her term, we were “bangin'”! Even if I were to get down to a size 0, honestly, knowing the way that I am now, I will probably still feel like there’s a little something here and there that could be tighter and trimmer. With all the celebrities out there with those skinny bodies, we’re so conditioned to view that as “ideal.” It sucks, but it’s true.

However, one thing that I will do in my life is try to not beat myself up too much. It’s easier said than done, but it will be accomplished. The weather’s getting warmer, so most likely, I’ll crave more salads and veggies rather than carbs, so I can cut some of the added weight. And thanks to these awesome money-saving websites that I’ve signed up for, I’ll be adding additional dance classes and kickboxing to my workout routine. The great thing about working out is that endorphins ROCK, and make you forget about your problems. Who needs alcohol when you can have a shot of ZUMBA???

I will always be a work in progress. However, 2012 will be the year that I will love myself, truly and completely. I am a healthy and fit person, and I should think that I totally rock. I think that we ALL should feel this way about ourselves. In an ideal world, weight would be nothing but just a number. And that number for me is a 20-piece sushi platter with a side of spicy mayo.

Nom nom nom…

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Acting, Weight Loss & Body Image”

  1. sweetopiagirl March 24, 2012 at 1:11 am #

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

  2. Elizabeth March 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

    You are so brave and strong. You are right, no matter your size you will want to “improve.” Its a female thing that has been engrained in our brains. However, I promise you that you can change that about your mental state. Its hard to do, but it can happen. Rock on, and if you ever want a buddy for a class somewhere, give me a shout!

    • Teresa Hui March 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm #

      Liz,
      Thank you for the wonderful and encouraging words! I’m incredibly inspired by you, and you’re my fitness & acting idol! In fact, I’ve referred others starting out in the industry to your blog because it also helped me tremendously when I was starting out. So thank you for all the helpful information!
      I know that you worked incredibly hard to get to where you are, and your drive is really amazing. I know that it will always be a female thing, this obsession with weight, but I will one day beat those negative feelings of feeling like I’m not good enough. I’m a work in progress, and I know that I need to enjoy the journey, because there is no finish line!
      Thanks again! And keep on rockin’ it out! Good luck in the Boston Marathon! One day I’ll join you! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: